Thursday, November 27, 2008

Condor

Hope you enjoy this one. Preview: on Monday, a story about onions and how NLP has changed my perspective on life... in very good ways.

I was in my front yard. I saw a huge grey bird in the distance. It's the biggest bird I've ever seen. I ran through the house and into the back yard, to get a closer look.

Very clearly, I saw it was s a condor flying away from me. A baby condor flew to me and hovered overhead. I was looking straight up at the baby condor. The baby condor breathed into me, in one full, complete, giant breath! And I felt full of energy and light!

It wasn't a jarring thing.... it was the same thing I've experienced before, only more. It seemed perfectly real.

It was so real that when I woke up, I was confused. Hadn't I just been in the back yard? It took me a moment to realize it was a dream.

Then, I was worried because I thought a whole day had passed.

But in "real" time, I had been asleep only 20 minutes.

After I reoriented myself, I realized I felt really good. I felt that every cell in my body was full of energy. There was even the sensation of energy coming out of my pores, just because there was so much of it.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Living 1000 Beautiful Lives with the 12 States

Imagine yourself in a place of wondrous beauty, and seeing, hearing, and feeling even more than you usually do. We all have an increased, expanded awareness when we're in such a place. But what if you could measurably, noticeably experience more?

That's what the 12 States of Attention are about. You already use them in some ways. Learning more about the 12 States gives you the chance to use these unconscious processes, at will, whenever you want to "get more" of the scene around you... or within.

Wherever you are, you can take a moment to practice through the 12 states:

visual-external-broad -- notice the big picture in front of you
visual-internal-broad -- close your eyes and remember the big picture you just saw
visual-external-narrow -- look at something specific in front of you
visual-internal-narrow -- close your eyes and remember the specific thing you just saw

auditory-external-broad -- listen for the entire soundtrack that's happening around you
auditory-internal-broad -- close your ears and hear, inside, the soundtrack you just heard
auditory-external-narrow -- listen to one specific sound that's happening around you
auditory-internal narrow -- close your ears and hear, inside, that one specific sound you just heard

kinesthetic-external-broad -- notice what's happening, all over your skin
kinesthetic-internal-broad -- remember what you just felt
kinesthetic-external-narrow -- notice a specific feeling in your body
kinesthetic-internal-narrow -- remember that specific feeling you just felt

(As a side note: There's a lot of wonderful discussion on what, exactly kinesthetic external/ internal is, and how you fit the proprioceptive pieces in, etc. That's a story for another day! I just have outlined one way I'm currently practicing the 12 states.)

Imagine using the 12 States in a cool, black cave with waves at the entrance. Or water rushing down the mountainside in the form of a 50 foot waterfall. Or sitting with friends, staring at the sky. Or watching and listening to a meteor shower.

I feel as if I've lived 1000 beautiful lives. I've had a great time playing with Nelson Zink's 12 States of Attention, especially in Maui, ever since Mary Ann Reynold's presentation at Austin NLP in September. Many thanks to Nelson Zink and Mary Ann Reynolds.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Welcome to the Control Booth of Your Experience

You don't have to be an NLP rockstar to use what you've learned in an NLP class right away. You don't even have to practice hard or read a million books. Indeed, that's the beauty of NLP: we're already using our brains and bodies and emotions all the time, whether we know a slip of NLP or not. And knowing NLP puts you in the control booth of your experience.

This post is about how I learned the power of being able to change representation systems easily.

First, some definitions.

In NLP, a "representation system" is the way a person represents the world. You can represent the world in pictures (visual), in sounds (auditory), in feelings (kinesthetic), in smells (olfactory), and in tastes (gustatory). We use these 5 senses to experience the present, remember the present, and consider the future.

Some people experience senses beyond these 5 senses, but that's a story for another day.

Most people use all 5 of these Representation Systems, with a strong emphasis on visual, auditory, and kinesthetic information. And many people tend to favor one "Rep System" in a given context. In order to represent the past and future and to sort through the present, we must delete some information (otherwise, what's happening on the inside would take exactly as long as what happened on the outside, but we can all remember an event and play it back in our head faster than the event actually occurred). Representation Systems help us do that sorting and deleting.

For example, when I write, I like to use auditory information (the way the words sound in my head) and visual information (how the words scan on the page). This kind of deletion is a great gift when things are going well. And when it's time for change, trying a different Representation System can be one way to get more information.

Now, onto the story of how I learned about the power of representation system changes.

Just after I completed my NLP Practitioner training, one of my friends complained of feeling overwhelmed whenever she went into busy restaurants. "There's so much going on in a place like that -- everyone is talking and laughing so loud, silverware is clanging on plates, there's just too much input." I could see her eyes move left to right, the classic pattern for accessing auditory information.

I remembered my teacher Tom Best doing a demo with a woman who had a similar dislike of noisy places. He had her remember a noisy experience and then, just as it was starting to become uncomfortable, turn down the volume. Once the volume was almost inaudible, he asked her to turn up the amount of visual information coming in: soft lighting, smiling faces, beautiful food.

It worked beautifully in Tom's demo, so I thought I would try it.

Sure enough, my friend visibly tensed when she started to remember the last time she was in a noisy restaurant. And when she turned down the volume, her face relaxed. By the time she finished turning up the visuals, she was glowing!

After going through the sequence a few more times, and practicing for the future, she was relaxed and curious about trying her new strategy. A week later, she called, excited that "it worked!" when she tried the strategy out at a restaurant.

When I asked her about how her restaurant strategy was working, she had actually forgotten that it was an issue.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Path of Love and the Path of Power

Recently, I saw the movie The Kite Runner.

It was beautiful and horrible. One horrible part is that a veiled woman is stoned to death in front of a stadium full of spectators. The story takes place in Kabul, Afghanistan, from the end of the Afghanistan monarchy to the Soviet invasion to the rise of the Taliban.

The beautiful part was the relationship between two boys who fly kites together.

One boy is on the path of power, exploring all the things he needs to do to make his life happy and to live in the complicated world around him. Power is about setting boundaries and making "good" decisions, often in the face of great fear.

The other boy is on the path of love, exploring all the things he needs to not do to make his life happy and to live in the complicated world around him. Love is a state within oneself, and exists regardless of the events happening externally. It's about adding more energy or love to one's own life, often in the face of great fear.

Sometimes, it's difficult for people on such different paths to even talk! But when they collaborate together, beautiful things can happen.

The boy on the path of power recounts a story he's written: there's a man with a magic cup, which will turn tears into gold. The story ends with the man having killed his wife, weeping, sitting on a pile of gold.

The boy on the path of love asks to respectfully ask a question about the story: why wouldn't the man just cut an onion?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Authentic Speaking

Here's an exercise that Keith Fail developed for a group of Toastmasters, to help them practice speaking with more presence and from the values that are important to each of them personally.

After teaching the prerequisite pieces (see below), he had the group do the exercise. Once they put all the pieces together, they didn't want to stop talking!

This post assumes you know the Circle of Excellence and can use the meta-outcome questions to come up with a core value.

Before Doing the Exercise
Before beginning, gather this information for yourself and a partner:
  • What is one important value of yours? Use meta-outcome questions to get a really good one.
  • Create a Circle of Excellence for that value (each partner does so for his or her own value).
  • Practice "being present" with your partner, looking into each others' eyes, without talking, for 30 seconds, and then a minute.
The Exercise
Standing up, position yourself about 5 feet from your partner, facing each other.
  1. Each person imagines his or her own Circle of Excellence one step in front of them... and then steps in.
  2. After fully stepping into the Circle of Excellence, each person adds "being present" to that circle, looking into their partners' eyes.
  3. Each person takes a turn speaking a few sentences, only as quickly as he or she can hold both the original Circle of Excellence value and "being present" with the other person.
Modifications
You can modify this exercise to be used with increasingly larger groups of people, one person standing at the front as a speaker, with the rest of the group as an audience.

You could also modify this exercise to use it with a couple. The Circle of Excellence could be individual states, as outlined above, or a shared resource state.