Outcomes

In NLP, we talk about a establishing a well-formed outcome with a client before proceeding with change work. A well-formed outcome is a goal that contains specific elements that make achieving it possible and much more likely than a goal that doesn't have those elements.

Bothering with a WFO does several things: the simple process of making sure you've met all the "well-formedness" conditions (yes, they really call it that!) helps to fill in missing information. Filing in the blanks is sometimes enough for the client to experience more alignment with their outcome right away. Establishing a well-formed outcome also brings to light blocks, obstacles, and limiting beliefs that might need attention.

Like many techniques in NLP, the well-formed outcome conditions seem like they should be simple to elicit. They're usually taught to beginners using a series of questions, like "What do you want?" and "What would that do for you?" Because of the apparent simplicity, some people assume that they should be able to complete a worksheet on their goal and move on.

For a very few people, the worksheet approach is completely adequate. And the worksheet approach is a great way to begin to learn the well-formedness conditions. But watch a masterful demonstration of how to use those questions, and you'll see that the practitioner is doing a lot more than asking that list of questions!

Most people discover stuck places and incomplete information even in their answers to these questions. The questions themselves don't contain the full model of everything required for a well-formed outcome. But that's a story for another day.

Back to what getting a well-formed outcome does, beyond filling in the blanks of someone's goal and revealing obstacles.

Taking the time to establish a well-formed outcome also gives the practitioner the chance to listen, watch, and get a sense of the client. A classic NLP beginners' mistake (and, unfortunately, a common mistake of the legion forces of "coaches" that many internet coach universities are currently spewing out) is to move too early to problem solving or running the client through a process. Doing a recipe process by the book is great for some things when you're learning NLP, but as soon as you're ready to work with people outside the classroom, it's time to start looking, listening, and getting a sense of the person in front of you -- well before you decide which process to use or help with brainstorming solutions.

12 Minute Intervention

My first interaction with Jason Dixon involving NLP was a 12 minute conversation.

Before the conversation, I was struggling with an old friend who was moving on. I was sad and confused.

12 minutes later, I was relaxed and open and felt good about my old friend.

We laughed at how fast that went!

Jason did several important things. First, he actually listened, deeply, to what I said. People Helpers have a well-earned reputation for giving advice before understanding and empathizing. He let me "spill" what was happening inside my head, so that he could respond to what was actually going on for me.

I think armchair NLPers (especially those who read books more than they practice!) miss this a lot: because changing a belief with NLP is much easier than other ways of changing a belief, people jump to the conclusion that whenever they notice a limiting belief, they should reframe the belief or pattern interrupt, and that'll do 'er. Unfortunately, these folks also miss the most important thing that must be in place for a short, conversational intervention to work: unconscious rapport.

But that's a story for another day.

Luckily for me, Jason doesn't play that way!

Second, Jason tried several different things and waited for feedback. Utilizing feedback from the client or class is a "must" in my book. Otherwise, they're just following a recipe -- a recipe that I could be following on my own, for myself.

And third, Jason treated me with a lot of heart. It's my belief that all this stuff is just easier with love.

I'm sure he did other things. But I certainly don't know what they were!

That's the fun of working with a skilled NLP coach, even if you know some NLP. It seems as though you just had a deep, heartfelt conversation. And then things change.

I really enjoyed the personal stories on Jason's website. And he has a Law of Attraction and NLP class coming up on December 13, too.