While we're getting ready to have a great time at the Best Resources NLP Practitioner kickoff in Austin tomorrow, please enjoy this most excellent advanced calibration exercise that my husband Keith created.
Happy calibrating!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Why My Life is So Great
In my government training job, we were asked to watch a 25-minute video about emergency situations that could affect the entire state, such as a possible global flu epidemic.
That is not why my life is so great, by the way.
I surfed to the video website. I closed my door and put an “in training” sign up. I got my headphones all ready.
And I pushed play.
That’s when something unusual happened.
The spoken audio track was exactly what you’d expect: a dry, unexcited voice reading statistics about death and suffering in monotone.
But the background music was something else.
My teacher Tom Best sometimes puts together beautiful movies of the footage he takes on his international adventures, particularly his extended shamanism explorations. If you’ve ever been the recipient of one of his videos, you know how powerful it is to receive video of the sights, sounds, people, and teachings of a life-changing experience. It’s a strong anchor for the feelings and new states of consciousness you experienced on the trip.
For a particular Peru trip video that I’ve seen many times, he used a unique, upbeat acoustic piece of music for the background to a series of photos. That music is indelibly linked, in my mind, to this series of heartfelt snapshots of happy, contemplative trip participants and the people of a particular Peruvian village. The colors are bright and vivid, the people peering directly at you through the movie. I’ve seen the video many times.
Whenever I watch this segment of the movie and hear that piece of music, I feel very open and happy and full of life.
Here’s the unusual thing: the global flu epidemic movie had that same piece of music in the background.
So when I clicked “play,” that familiar upbeat, acoustic music started. Before I could even make sense of the familiar music, I noticed that the background of the global flu epidemic movie looked a lot like the “filaments of light” that Tom talks about connecting us all.
I heard the flu movie monologue, too, for sure. But I couldn’t help but imagine the smiling, full-of-life faces of the children from those portraits, superimposed over the bulleted slides.
I felt open and happy and full of life… while I was listening to the death statistics from the early 20th century flew epidemic.
I felt my breathing deepen and slow like it would during deep meditation, while I was watching the required supplies for an emergency kit fly across the screen.
This had a strange affect on me. Somehow, I was able to make room for these grim facts along with feeling really good.
In this life, it seems that we will always have our own feelings and states of mind to contend with, and we will always be surrounded by others who have their own maps of what to say when and what makes them feel happy.
When we can choose exactly how we feel and take in the information that is presented by others, we’re doing something worth doing. We’re doing the work of making peace in the world by holding two different possibilities in consciousness at the same time.
To start, all we need to know to begin this work is that it’s possible to hold two opposites in mind at the same time.
To continue, it requires practicing these internal, positive states so much that they become as easy as doing something from the external world, something as simple as pushing the play button.
That is not why my life is so great, by the way.
I surfed to the video website. I closed my door and put an “in training” sign up. I got my headphones all ready.
And I pushed play.
That’s when something unusual happened.
The spoken audio track was exactly what you’d expect: a dry, unexcited voice reading statistics about death and suffering in monotone.
But the background music was something else.
My teacher Tom Best sometimes puts together beautiful movies of the footage he takes on his international adventures, particularly his extended shamanism explorations. If you’ve ever been the recipient of one of his videos, you know how powerful it is to receive video of the sights, sounds, people, and teachings of a life-changing experience. It’s a strong anchor for the feelings and new states of consciousness you experienced on the trip.
For a particular Peru trip video that I’ve seen many times, he used a unique, upbeat acoustic piece of music for the background to a series of photos. That music is indelibly linked, in my mind, to this series of heartfelt snapshots of happy, contemplative trip participants and the people of a particular Peruvian village. The colors are bright and vivid, the people peering directly at you through the movie. I’ve seen the video many times.
Whenever I watch this segment of the movie and hear that piece of music, I feel very open and happy and full of life.
Here’s the unusual thing: the global flu epidemic movie had that same piece of music in the background.
So when I clicked “play,” that familiar upbeat, acoustic music started. Before I could even make sense of the familiar music, I noticed that the background of the global flu epidemic movie looked a lot like the “filaments of light” that Tom talks about connecting us all.
I heard the flu movie monologue, too, for sure. But I couldn’t help but imagine the smiling, full-of-life faces of the children from those portraits, superimposed over the bulleted slides.
I felt open and happy and full of life… while I was listening to the death statistics from the early 20th century flew epidemic.
I felt my breathing deepen and slow like it would during deep meditation, while I was watching the required supplies for an emergency kit fly across the screen.
This had a strange affect on me. Somehow, I was able to make room for these grim facts along with feeling really good.
In this life, it seems that we will always have our own feelings and states of mind to contend with, and we will always be surrounded by others who have their own maps of what to say when and what makes them feel happy.
When we can choose exactly how we feel and take in the information that is presented by others, we’re doing something worth doing. We’re doing the work of making peace in the world by holding two different possibilities in consciousness at the same time.
To start, all we need to know to begin this work is that it’s possible to hold two opposites in mind at the same time.
To continue, it requires practicing these internal, positive states so much that they become as easy as doing something from the external world, something as simple as pushing the play button.
Monday, January 12, 2009
NLP Class in Austin -- Begins January 17-18!
Best Resources is once again teaching the NLP Practitioner training in Austin!
Take one weekend , two weekends, or the entire 8 weekend class from trainers who have mastery, integrity, and heart. My husband Keith Fail is part of the training team this year, too.
I'm delighted to be a part of their classes, and I know of no better way for you to heal, transform, grow, and revivify your life than to take Tom and Bobbi Best's classes.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Growing Your Organization
At the core of every religion, business, family, audience, non-profit organization, spiritual path, board of directors, professional association, and group of people, there's a bright, burning core.
Let's call this the territory.
The territory is where all the experience happens. It's where the members of the group live. It's their prayers, daily work, meditations, playing catch in the backyard, dancing together, listening in awe to a piece of music.
Surrounding that core is a bunch of other stuff: beliefs, perceived repetitive behaviors, stories about why this and that is so, perceptual filters, theories, agreement and argument, mission statements, expected capabilities, financial statements, holy texts, rules of order.
Let's call this stuff the map. It refers back to the territory, but it's somehow different. It's about the territory. It's about the experience. But it's not that experience itself.
NLP has taught me that I can change my map. On good days, I remember this and it's mostly easy now.
On bad days,... well, that's a story for another day!
So, your organization wants to grow? Great. There's only two thing you really need to do. If you accomplish these two things, people will overlook huge administrative errors and typos and weird furniture and sloppy clothes and accents and bad manners.
Help people get to the territory. And then, any time you enter the map to discuss the territory, talk about it in a way that makes the people feel better than they usually feel.
That's it. You do not need a new sanctuary, better-dressed members, more snacks, glossy brochures, a bus plan to bring in people, a class to teach members how to interact with new people, more closet space, leather bound books.... unless those things help people get to the territory and talk about the territory in a way that makes them feel better than they usually feel.
If you miss these two things, your organization may grow a little, if you're lucky. But there is not enough new carpet in the world to compete with direct experience in the territory and feeling good in the map. People are drawn to places that bring them to the territory and have a great time talking about it.
More to come about my own map of how to do this.
What are you thoughts? I'd love to know them. Drop me a line or leave a comment.
Let's call this the territory.
The territory is where all the experience happens. It's where the members of the group live. It's their prayers, daily work, meditations, playing catch in the backyard, dancing together, listening in awe to a piece of music.
Surrounding that core is a bunch of other stuff: beliefs, perceived repetitive behaviors, stories about why this and that is so, perceptual filters, theories, agreement and argument, mission statements, expected capabilities, financial statements, holy texts, rules of order.
Let's call this stuff the map. It refers back to the territory, but it's somehow different. It's about the territory. It's about the experience. But it's not that experience itself.
NLP has taught me that I can change my map. On good days, I remember this and it's mostly easy now.
On bad days,... well, that's a story for another day!
So, your organization wants to grow? Great. There's only two thing you really need to do. If you accomplish these two things, people will overlook huge administrative errors and typos and weird furniture and sloppy clothes and accents and bad manners.
Help people get to the territory. And then, any time you enter the map to discuss the territory, talk about it in a way that makes the people feel better than they usually feel.
That's it. You do not need a new sanctuary, better-dressed members, more snacks, glossy brochures, a bus plan to bring in people, a class to teach members how to interact with new people, more closet space, leather bound books.... unless those things help people get to the territory and talk about the territory in a way that makes them feel better than they usually feel.
If you miss these two things, your organization may grow a little, if you're lucky. But there is not enough new carpet in the world to compete with direct experience in the territory and feeling good in the map. People are drawn to places that bring them to the territory and have a great time talking about it.
More to come about my own map of how to do this.
What are you thoughts? I'd love to know them. Drop me a line or leave a comment.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Edward T. Hall and Congruence
Do you know who Edward T. Hall is?
My husband Keith is re-reading a book of his, The Silent Language.
Hall is an anthropologist who originated the concept of proximics (personal space) and was an early writer on cross-cultural differences and non-verbal communication. He's written about westerners doing business in Japan. He did research with the Navajo and Hopi. He's also one of the people who greatly influenced early NLP developers like John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Judith Delozier, and Leslie Cameron-Bandler.
Hall was born in 1914 in Missouri and is still alive. He's been retired since 1977. He remarried in 2004, according to the timeline on his website!
According to Keith, Hall was saying things like this in 1959: "If a person really wants to introduce change, find out what is happening unconsciously and make it conscious." That's an interesting definition of modeling -- in this case, modeling of the problem to illuminate it and notice possibilities for change.
He also coined the term "congruence," which is now a standard part of the NLP lexicon. Today, in NLP circles, congruence refers to a person and all their "parts" being aligned. When we are congruent, our speech, non-verbal communication, and actions all match up.
If you remember your high school geometry class, you might observe that Hall borrowed this term from mathematics. Here's a one page refresher on congruence in math: http://www.mathopenref.com/congruent.html
On a side note: according to Keith, Hall also laid the groundwork for timelines, writing about the distinctions of "in time" (polychronic time, in Hall's terms) versus "through time" (monochronic time for Hall).
My husband Keith is re-reading a book of his, The Silent Language.
Hall is an anthropologist who originated the concept of proximics (personal space) and was an early writer on cross-cultural differences and non-verbal communication. He's written about westerners doing business in Japan. He did research with the Navajo and Hopi. He's also one of the people who greatly influenced early NLP developers like John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Judith Delozier, and Leslie Cameron-Bandler.
Hall was born in 1914 in Missouri and is still alive. He's been retired since 1977. He remarried in 2004, according to the timeline on his website!
According to Keith, Hall was saying things like this in 1959: "If a person really wants to introduce change, find out what is happening unconsciously and make it conscious." That's an interesting definition of modeling -- in this case, modeling of the problem to illuminate it and notice possibilities for change.
He also coined the term "congruence," which is now a standard part of the NLP lexicon. Today, in NLP circles, congruence refers to a person and all their "parts" being aligned. When we are congruent, our speech, non-verbal communication, and actions all match up.
If you remember your high school geometry class, you might observe that Hall borrowed this term from mathematics. Here's a one page refresher on congruence in math: http://www.mathopenref.com/congruent.html
On a side note: according to Keith, Hall also laid the groundwork for timelines, writing about the distinctions of "in time" (polychronic time, in Hall's terms) versus "through time" (monochronic time for Hall).
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